Onodera's Confession
by xXAngel ShadowXx
Summary: my own ending to the unsatisfying ending of the anime. just a quick, fluffy one-shot. Enjoy!


**Author's Note: Yes everyone. I caved in. I watched a streaming of Sekaiichi Hatsukoi, simply because I heard it was a spin off of Junjou Romantica, and let me tell you, that shit was AWESOME. (Nakamura-sensei never fails to please ^_^) However, I found the end of the anime a tad unsatisfactory, (those of you who've seen the ending will know what I'm talking about) so I'm just going to give my little interpretation of what happened after the last episode. I haven't seen that many fics for the series, so I thought I'd give it a shot. (Because I care.) **

**So, for now, "When Lonely Hearts Connect" is kinda going on haitus for now...I wanna go back to writing original stuff, instead of going with just a cheap novelization of something that technically was already a novel. I honestly don't know what I was thinking..for those of you who liked it and responded...I appreciate it, but I'm sick of copping out and writing cheap stuff like that. So, with that in mind, please enjoy my latest fic. And plz do leave a review! ^_^**

_How am I supposed to forget you? Why couldn't I just be left alone to move on with my life? Why does everything have to be so complicated, frustrating, irritating..Why can't you just give up on me?_

_How can anyone possibly expect a relationship from someone who's spent the last ten years of his life trying so desperately to forget them?_

_I won't ever understand you..._

_There's no way I want to..._

_There's just no way this is love..._

Ritsu Onodera was heading home that evening, carrying with him his usual load; the various manuscripts he'd been assigned to look over that night, and his convienience store-bought dinner. By the time he was half-way to his apartment, he was exhausted. The brisk autumn chill sent goosebumps along his arms as he sat down on a nearby bench to give his legs a short break.

"God...maybe I should consider getting a car...walking around everywhere like this is starting to be a pain..." He glanced down at his briefcase, which contained the manuscripts and storyboards he would be looking over that night, and, beyond his control, he felt his heart give a short pang in his chest, as he recalled the person who had given him those storyboards...

It had been a few days since Onodera's last..._intimate_ encounter with his boss, Takano, and for those last few days he had been trying, (beyond his usual moderate efforts) to stay as far away from him as possible. At Murukawa Publishing, he would follow his boss's orders precisely, as quickly as possible, and while being given those orders, he was careful never to make eye contact. Other than those few times he saw him at work, Onodera almost never spoke, nor acknowledged his boss's existance. Being the chief editor at the _Emerald_, he was a busy man. It's not like he had time for a lot of random sporadic chit chat anyway, but by this point, the awkward tension between the two of them was practically visible. No one said a word about it of course. Whether they were ignorant or simply didn't care. However, most of them were blissfully unaware of the history between Onodera and Takano, and Onodera felt it was best that it stayed that way.

_Ten years ago was when we first met...when I first fell in love with him, and ever since then, he's been doing nothing but turning my life upside down._

Onodera almost visibly shuddered as he recalled the events of three days ago. He had been being practically dragged towards Takano's apartment (which he sadly lived right next door to.) while Onodera had been madly protesting against it. Suddenly, he'd accidentally brought up something about Yokozawa, and as he'd been trying to cover up for that, Takano had noticed that his leg was bleeding (Yet another unfortunate incident of his doing) and had offered to bandage and steralize it. That alone had made Onodera uncomfortable, as though he were a small child unable to take care of himself. Then, before he knew it, Takano had kissed him. Was kissing him...lowering him down on the floor, saying stupid, embarassing things...

_Onodera...I love you._

Then, just when Onodera felt like he was about to give in, like his heart was about to shatter into a billion pieces...Salvation.

His cell phone rang.

Never had he felt so grateful to hear that familiar vibration in his back pocket. He'd quickly picked up and began to have a meaningful, important conversation with the author he was currently working with when...

Takano just walked right over to him and gently kissed his cheek.

Recalling the incident made his heart flutter, which annoyed Onodera greatly. He raised his fingers to the spot where those lips had touched him...so softly...so briefly...

_And then he just left..._

"I wonder why he did that..." Onodera muttered quietly to himself, then started when he realized he had just talked to himself in public. _Ugh...GOD! Why can't I just get him out of my damned mind? _

At that moment, Onodera stood up, resolving to go home and not think about Takano anymore. He was never going to get over what happened if he did nothign but obsess over it. He had no time anyway. He had responsibilities. A job.

_I'm going to forget all about him._ Onodera thought to himself firmly. _I have to. I can't let this get to me anymore. It's interfering with my work, and my sanity. He's just going to have to freaking understand that I'm never going to fall for him again. Never._

Even as he voiced this in his mind though, he could feel his heart pounding painfully, the same way it always did when he thought about Takano. As much in denial as he was, even he understood that it was going to take some time to let these feelings completely fade. _But they will._ He told himself, approaching his apartment complex, clutching his briefcase firmly. _I'll make sure they do. _

Onodera had been telling himself these things for the past three days. Avoiding Takano and submersing himself in piles and piles of work. It was his only defense. The only thing that kept his mind consumed enough so that he wasn't tempted to speak to Takano...seek him out...

Onodera, being very wary about running into Takano accidentally, peeked down the hallway before he headed to his door. The coast looked pretty clear; no one in sight. Onodera felt ready to breathe a sigh of sweet relief. Until...

...He heard footsteps approaching.

_No...no...God...no..._

The man who was briskly walking down the hallway, in a familiar looking business suit, The all too familiar scowl appearing on his face as soon as he caught sight of Onodera.

Onodera felt his stomach shrivel up.

_Yokozawa...he's here again..._

_...What the hell am I supposed to do now?_

At this point in time, it was all too clear to him that Yokozawa was not a fan of him, and basically accused him of hurting Takano terribly when they were still going out, despite the fact Onodera had believed all along that he in fact was the one who'd gotten hurt.

He couldn't bring himself to face that guy now. All he wanted to do was forget about the business with Takano and move on with his life. He didn't want to be reminded of what he may or may not have done to him, btu somewhere deep inside him, he had a feeling that Yokozawa wasn't here at the same time he was by mere coincidence. Cautiously, his eyes cast downwards, Onodera slowly made his way towards his apartment door, trying his best to ignore harsh glare that the aggitated man was giving him.

"You have a lot of goddamned nerve, don't you?"

Onodera stopped in his tracks, still not looking up.

The man standing next to him narrowed his eyes disdainfully. Suddenly, Onodera noticed something warm against his legs, and looked down to see Takano's cat rubbing against them, purring contentedly.

There was something about that cat that was so familiar...

Before he could say anything, Yokozawa bent down and picked up the purring little cat, holding it close against him as though shielding it from Onodera's prescence. Onodera wanted to sigh with exasperation. Just when was this crap going to end for him?

"Listen..." Onodera began. "I really don't know why you're here, but all I want to do right now is go inside, have my dinner, and get to work. If you're here to say anything to me about Takano, please don't. I'm exhausted and I just-"

"I don't really give a damn. After what you've just done..."

Onodera started there. What the hell was this guy talking about now?

The cat gave a soft meow as Yokozawa sopke again, in a low growl. "Don't play dumb with me. You know damned well what you've done. Masamune has been distant and out of it for days now. I can't get him out of his workplace for five minutes, and then when I manage to do so, he's completely not himself. He has this far away look in his eyes, like he's trying to figure something out. But he can't think about anything else! And I know it's because of you! It's always you!"

Yokozawa's voice was harsh and angry. He wasn't even trying to contain himself now. "You don't even care what you're doing to him, do you? You really don't...you aren't even supposed to be in this department to begin with. You come out of nowhere and do this to him. Just screwing with him again like you did in High School-"

"Just stop it." Onodera growled, his fists clenching. His frustration was at it's peak, and he was just about to crack. "I've had enough of this." When he said that though, he didn't sound angry so much as defeated. "I honestly don't think I've done anything. If anything, he's done something to me...and I-"

That was the moment where Yokozawa finally snapped. He rushed towards Onodera, grabbed him by the shirt collar, and had him pinned against the wall. Onodera's heart began thudding in horror as he saw into the dark depths of Yokozawa's eyes. The cat had been dropped and was now hissing and spitting with anger at the enraged man. Onodera actually found himself being lifted off the ground, and forced to stare into the man's eyes. That was when he finally noticed it; the distinct scent of alcohol.

Yokozawa had definately been drinking.

Onodera's eyes widened in horror; just how much _had_ he been drinking? His eyes were the slightest tint of pink, and he reeked of the stench of it. His heart rate began to steadily rise as Yokozawa leaned in towards him, slowly.

"You little son of a bitch..."

Onodera couldn't move. It was as though the fear had plastered him to that spot. He couldn't speak, could hardly even breathe. This wasn't happening...it couldn't be.

"By the time I'm finished with you-"

It was at that moment the furious man's words were sharply cut off, as from nowhere someone came rushing towards him, shoving him off of Onodera and pinning him by the neck against the wall. Onodera gasped and turned, horrified, to see who it was.

It was Takano.

_Where did he come from?_

His hand was clutching Yokozawa's neck, while Yokozawa clawed and scratched at it in vain trying to peel it off his adam's apple, but he was far too weak in his current state to do so. Onodera had never seen Takano's clear, hazel eyes, suddenly appear so dark and murderous. The sight was truly intimidating and frightening.

"You bastard..." He snarled, his voice dripping pure venom. His hand tightened around Yokozawa's neck. As grateful as Onodera was for Takano saving him, he didn't want to see Yokozawa's lights punched out right there.

"Wait Takano! Stop!" He pleaded, taking hold of Takano's arm. His gaze shifted towards him, and Onodera's heart almost stopped dead upon seeing the look in those eyes.

Suddenly, Takano's hand loosened around Yokozawa's neck, but he leaned his face in mere centimeters from Yokozawa's.

"Leave. _Now._" He commanded in a fierce growl. Yokozawa appeared hesitant about this for only a brief second before skulking off down the hallway. This made Onodera involuntarily breathe a sigh of relief. _God...that was so close...if Takano-san hadn't come along..._

Oh yeah, that was right; he was still there.

Onodera suddenly felt a strong hand clamp on his arm, and before he could even properly open his mouth to protest, he felt himself being dragged along down towards Takano's room.

"H-hey!" He stammered. "What the hell do you think you're doing?"

Takano didn't answer. Not like he was expecting one. Before he knew it, Onodera found himself being yanked into Takano's room, the door being slammed behind them. Onodera finally managed then to pull his arm back from Takano, and he glanced back irritatedly towards him. What the hell was his deal anyway?

Takano just glared angrilly at him. Onodera suddenly noticed that he was standing, arms crossed, in front of the door; blocking his only way out.

And it didn't look like he was about to move.

He said nothing back to Onodera; causing an awkward silence to pass between them. The young manga editor could feel his cheeks starting to heat up with embarassment as the silence thickened over them.

_What are you doing?_ Onodera's inner voice suddenly scolded. _Don't just stand there! Say something!_

But Takano wouldn't, so after much hesitation, Onodera decided he had no choice.

"Um...T-Thank you...for that..." He stammered uncertainly. "Yokozawa he...he just sort of lost it out of nowhere..."

"He hates you."

The words were so sudden that Onodera jumped in surprise. Takano's smoldering gaze was still dark and bitter looking as he said them. It sounded as though he were seething with disdain and, possibly hatred for Yokozawa.

"If I hadn't shown up, he might've killed you."

_Er...well I think that's exagerrating a bit... _

"I..." Onodera began, but he found he couldn;t exactly counter that statement. He didn't really know what Yokozawa had been capable of at that time. He _had_ looked pretty pissed...and drunk...

Onodera suddenly sighed. He was so tired and hungry. Right then, he almost felt like collapsing from exhaustion.

"I...I'm going home now..." He said quietly, heading towards the door. Really, what else was he supposed to say?

Takano said nothing until he was within inches of the doorknob.

"Onodera..." He began softly, as Onodera reached the door and was about to open it, though he made no move to stop him.

"...When are you going to stop running from me?"

Onodera's heart skipped a beat. He hand tightened around the doorknob briefly, before he made a quick retaliation to this comment.

"What are you talking about? I'm not running from anything."

Takano didn't move. Onodera's mind was beginning to race. _What is he getting at? Is he going to let me leave? I really can't face him right now...I'm too flustered from what just happened...can't he understand I just want to go and rest?_

Resolutely, he started to pull open the door...

and was about to step out...

"Don't lie to me."

Onodera froze. Takano's voice was low and quiet. Pensive. Onodera tried to convince himself that he should just take the opportunity and go, but something ground him to that spot.

It was then he finally felt a warm hand on his shoulder, slowly turning him around from the doorway to gaze into Takano's warm, hazel eyes.

"Onodera...you've been avoiding me again. And I think I know the reason..."

"I...I have no idea what you're-" Onodera, for some reason, could hardly believe that he was saying all this again. It was starting to sound so ridiculous to him, honestly, he was starting to tire of the whole routine. It was getting him nowhere. It never had.

But..._what else could he say?_

Onodera felt trapped. When was this whole thing going to end for him? When was Takano going to accept the fact that nothing could ever truly blossom between them again? Too many years had passed...too many things had happened...it was too late.

_Even if when he kissed me..._ ButOnodera quickly forced that from his mind, as he started to push Takano away. "Please...just let me..."

"_Ritsu!"_

Onodera's heart stopped then, his arms quivering at his sides. _There he goes again...using my...name..._

_How much longer will this go on?_

"Ritsu...please..." Takano said, in a voice that was barely a whisper. He lowered himself down and wrapped his arms around Onodera's body. The warmth of his body seeped through his clothes and instantly transfered to Onodera. He felt Takano's hands rubbing his back, supporting his body. Onodera swallowed back a lump in his throat. He had to get away...before...

"I'm sorry." He said quietly. "I'll never let him come near you again. I won't let you suffer because of me..."

_Before I give in again..._

_I can't give in to this..._

_But..._

"I want to be with you."

_..it isn't logical!_

"Onodera..."

_It isn't right!_

"I want to protect you."

_I have to push him away...stop this..._

_...but my arms just won't move..._

The silence thickened between them once again, Onodera just standing against the door with Takano clutching him as though for dear life itself. Just how deep did his feelings run? Just how important was Onodera to him? Onodera had found himself questioning that numerous times...no matter how far he tried to distance himself...somehow...Takano always managed to find him again.

Onodera's legs were going numb. He felt ready to pass out, overwhelmed by Takano's incredible warmth. He had to push away...stop this...and yet...

His mind flashed back to the kiss. The kiss that had made his heart pound and pound and pound while a confused Mutou-sensei's voice was suddenly far away, distant, the only things filling his mind were the kiss, and Takano.

Always Takano. Not a day went by that he didn't run through his thoughts.

Always...always...

Suddenly, Onodera regained the feeling in his limbs, standing up straighter against the door. His arms slowly rose up towards Takano, intent on pushing him away, gently but then he heard Takano's soft, aching voice once more.

"I want to hold you."

That was the moment when Onodera's heart snapped in two.

Those exact same words...murmured by that exact same person in that exact same situation over ten years ago...suddenly an overwhelming wave of emotion came over Onodera, that he himself could'nt even understand. Suddenly, his arms became limp lifeless flesh at his sides and his heart was thudding madly. The apartment disappeared around them, in his eyes, replaced by the image of Takano's room, filled with stacks and piles of books and papers, and the chilling yet wonderful scent of his body. This mental image surrounded him, encompassed him...

And before he knew it, tears were rolling down his cheeks.

_No! What are you doing? _The inner voice scolded. _Don't you dare start crying! You-_

But there was no point. Once he began, they just would'nt stop. They slid down his curved, pale cheeks and soaked into Takano's shoulder, who released his hold on Onodera ever so slightly to gaze at him.

"Onodera?" he asked softly.

_No dammit! Don't look at me!_

But that was no use.

His warm hands started to brush away those salty tears.

"Why are you crying? Tell me Onodera..."

_Dammit...just stop already!_

_Please..._

_I..._

_I can't take this anymore._

Onodera lowered his face covering it with his hands. Soon, the restraint he'd been excising for the past several minutes completely caved, and his body began to heave with sobs, more and more tears rolling down his cheeks. _This'll never end...over and over again...no matter how hard I try to deny this...everything..._

_...it all comes back to this..._

"Onodera?"

Onodera's sobs just beginning to ease, Takano's voice brought him back to earth. Those large, warm hands were on his back, gently rubbing in a comforting way. He didn't lift his head, nor raise his eyes to meet Takano's gaze; but he simply said those simple words that set his spirit free.

"I love you Takano-san..."

As soon as those words left his lips, the tears stopped flowing, his heart rate began to steady. He dared himself to raise his eyes to see Takano's reaction, but he didn't have the chance.

Two warm, trembling hands cupped his tear-soaked cheeks. "Ritsu..."

Onodera could'nt find the strength or will to lift his eyes. It felt as though his heart was being strangled and drained, having said those words after so much resistance, for so long. But he didn't have time to regret it...

Because soon he found himself being pulled in towards Takano. Those soft, tender lips meeting his, just like three days ago. Only this time, Onodera didn't even attempt to resist. He melted into the kiss, letting his arms lift themselves and wrap around Takano's waist. The two of them sank to the floor, Takano cradling a tired, emotional Onodera, whose face was now buried in Takano's shoulder, allowing his body to be shielded by Takano's warmth, just like that first night, all those years ago.

"Bastard..." He muttered. "Just look what you've done to me..." He felt as though he were on the verge of tears again.

Takano stroked his hair, smiling. "I never thought I would hear those words from you..."

Onodera said nothing to this, just continued to let Takano hold him. He honestly wasn't sure what to say now. What did you say to someone you'd just confessed your love to?

Or rather, what did you do when you just admitted to yourself that you loved someone?

Onodera didn't know, but maybe that didn't matter right now. Right now, Takano's arms were wrapped so tightly around him that he couldn't even think straight...

Onodera sighed. But it was a contented sigh.

_Me niether._

"They were always telling me to move on." Takano murmured softly into his ear. "Always telling me to quit waiting and searching and find someone else...but I could never do that, you know why?"

Onodera's heart fluttered. "W-why?"

"Because you're the only person I will ever love."

Onodera's heart jumped. _He...he can't mean that...how long as he felt that way?_

_What do I do? What do I do?_

He had to say something. Anything. He couldn't jsut say nothing to something like that.

"I...I...

Thank you, Takano-san."

He said this in a small, timid voice. It was all he could muster from within him, and he thought it was a pretty stupid thing to say to something like that, but Takano only smiled and kissed him sweetly on the lips.

"No Onodera...

Thank_ you..."_

Onodera sighed once more, as Takano kissed him again, deeply, sweetly, and truly...

_Maybe love isn't so bad after all..._

**Ugh...okay it's done! I hate the ending but...it's done! WHOOOOOO PLZ REVIEW!**


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